By The Way…

Some days I think of

How I would hide your body

After killing you


Love and $hit

Dating someone you

work with is the worst idea

to have of all time.

Just Do It

The hypocrite that

Wears a Nike t-shirt is

Really, really fat

Or we’ll crash

Back seat hosting is
As dangerous as driving just
Let me do my job

Hey Now, I’m An All – Star

Between catching rags
And throwing food my basket-
Ball game has improved.

On Wednesday’s We Wear Pink

Tip number one just
Befriend the cooks and you will
Never starve again.

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Oh, there’s only eight
Inches of snow outside let’s
All go out to eat!

The Glass Ceiling Needs Washed

How sad is it that
The cooks make less money than
The hair brained hostess

How I Host

10% seating
And 90% on my
Social media

Where Did It All Go?

Waiters the only
Ones still broke after making
300 dollars

It’s Not You It’s Me

The awkwardness of
Visiting your old restaurant
Like seeing an Ex

And They Are UGLY

A blind man must have

chosen these uniforms since

they are neon bright

My General Manager

He is so full of 

himself I don’t think he has

room left for dessert

Welcome Back

I’m starting back up

again because my life is

so very boring

The Heist

An old lady just

stole my menu, got in her

car and drove away.

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Impatient Waiters (An oxyMORON)?

Like swarms of bees

they buzz around me while I’m

trying to work. SWAT!

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2 A.M on a Thursday Night

Like rebellious teens

sneaking out of their house, they

do illegal things.

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Stepping on the Bones…

The living among

the dead dreams fleeing to stop

the death of mine too

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The New New Girl

My first day, I met

a girl as scared as I, and

I trained both of us.

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Your First Mistake…

Go down the list of

what’s wrong with your meal and I’ll

wave my magic wand.

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